How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
