Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She bit a glass in half.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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