I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude i'm inner monologue high
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
