I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
