Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
