im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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