Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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