Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
