i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
