..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
