ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
