ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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