giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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