so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i believe in u and ur pee
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
