While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
