woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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