Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
