you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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