I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You made me cry and you don't even care
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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