I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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