great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
