Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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