I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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