You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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