i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
