I think I died a long time ago.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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