Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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