dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
