Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
