He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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