he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
