No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
