did you get engaged???
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I have vodka in my lungs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
