i will never coherently bang her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
