I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
