I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
