And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
