I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
