you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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