I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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