i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
