and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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