Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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