Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
