some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my sisters under your porch take her home
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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