Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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