Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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