u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
