your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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