do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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