Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think I just sharted jello shots
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
