loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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