dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
