just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
