New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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