I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize