i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
