There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
