is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
