My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
