I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
