Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
