i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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