Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
