The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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