It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
