i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
