I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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